for tumblr / mental health stuff

[prophecygurl]

tw/cw for suicide, depression, anxiety, and panic attacks

sooooooooooo i didn’t really talk to anyone about this other than my sister but i uhh basically had a nervous breakdown a couple weeks ago........a few weeks ago? im not actually certain how long its been but

basically i was turning in all my assignments late and i got an email telling me if i didn’t get something in by the next night i was going to fail this class bc grades were due and i didn’t read it until several days later and this sent me into a panic attack that was making me suicidal

(for reference, im in a grad program for teaching that’s really intense, failing one class could put me behind a full year, or possibly get dropped from the program entirely)

my grades were actually fine, it turns out it was a glitch in the electronic grade book and even without the assignment i had a B but honestly that incident was just the tipping point like i had been on the verge of something for a while and ever since i’ve just been kind of.........idek

some days are better than others but honestly i had made a lot of progress wrt my mental health before this year and now thats completely in the toilet and coming back out of this in a few months is going to be very hard