fic: i eat boys like you for breakfast [1/1]

[prophecygurl]

Title: i eat boys like you for breakfast
Pairing: Bellamy/Clarke
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When Clarke Griffin discovers that her husband of five years has been secretly fucking his high school sweetheart for the entirety of their relationship, she’s done............and so is he. Clarke fakes her own murder, flees town, and sits back to watch as America crucifies Finn on the nightly news. Except her plan doesn’t go quite to spec and now she’s home, begrudged to torture Finn via Plan B: forcing him to live out a loveless, soul-crushing marriage to her, forever in the public eye. Meanwhile, what’s a girl to do for fun? Enter Bellamy Blake. [AU based on Gone Girl, set after the events of the film]
Spoilers: none.

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I'm so much happier now that I'm dead. Technically missing. Soon to be presumed dead. Gone. And my lazy lying shitting oblivious husband will go to prison for my murder. Finn Collins took my pride and my dignity and my hope and my money. He took and took from me until I no longer existed. That's murder. Let the punishment fit the crime.

When Clarke Griffin discovers that her husband of five years has been secretly sleeping with his high school sweetheart for the entirety of their relationship, she’s done............and so is he. Clarke fakes her own murder, flees town, and sits back to watch as America crucifies Finn on the nightly news. 

Except her plan doesn’t go quite to spec and now she’s home, begrudged to torture Finn via Plan B: forcing him to live out a loveless, soul-crushing marriage to her, forever in the public eye. Meanwhile, what’s a girl to do for fun?

Enter Bellamy Blake. Brother of Octavia, Clarke’s pregnant “best friend” who was an unwitting accomplice in Plan A. 

Clarke knew Bellamy, technically. He always seemed to be around when she and Octavia would hang out. 

God, Clarke thought to herself. I’m going to have to keep that friendship up for appearances. Great.

That was all back when Clarke was manipulating the obnoxious human incubator for her urine. As far as Clarke could remember Bellamy was a small time writer-professor who lived with Octavia and her husband and taught at the same university as Finn, though they worked in completely different departments. Bellamy was a history professor, lecturing mainly on ancient cultures, while Finn taught introductory comp. courses. 

Now he’s standing at her door with his hands in his pockets and an unreadable expression on his face.

“So…...you’re back. And not dead,” he says. Before Clarke can reply, Bellamy invites himself in, walking right past her and looking around her foyer. 

“Yes...I’m doing alright, all things considered. I’m so sorry if Octavia was frightened. I can’t believe the upset Cage caused,” Clarke stammered out deliberately. This act is already exhausting me.

“Yeah. I’m sure she’ll survive. If I know her, she’ll probably be over here with a casserole first thing tomorrow,” he added. 

Oh gag me, thought Clarke.

“So…” he continued. “It was all bullshit, right? The whole ordeal?” he asked.

Clarke froze. What the hell? How had be figured it out?

“I...what do you mean? I’m—I don’t—” Clarke was freaking out. She’d planned every detail so meticulously, but she hadn’t accounted for some random, insightful hot guy to show up on her doorstep like this. But when Clarke looked into his eyes she saw something — something unexpected. It looked an awful lot like...respect?

“Don’t worry. I’m not here to expose you or anything. I am a little confused though,” he explained. Followed by, “You’re husband’s a dick.”

There didn’t seem much point in keeping up the charade. Bellamy didn’t seem like he’d be swayed by her innocent victim routine. And at any rate, I’m fucking tired of it myself. 

“Yeah. So?” she questioned.

“So why are you still with him?” he asked in reply. 

Not a completely unwarranted question if you’re paying attention, she thought. I mean, Christ. Why hasn’t someone asked this already? The whole country was shitting itself to march Finn to the electric chair two weeks ago and now they’re all fawning over him. Sweet, doting husband my ass. Idiots are so easily swayed by men who do the bare minimum.

“Easy,” she stated, speaking slowly and pointedly, moving closer to him with every word. “If I stay, I can do everything in my power to make every day of his life as miserable as possible. And he can never leave me after all of this,” she added. “Partly because the whole world would turn on him again, partly because now he knows exactly what I’m capable of.”

“Wow,” Bellamy said, letting out a breathe he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “I’m impressed.” Clarke smiled in reply, pleased with herself. “Seems like a lot of work, though,” he said. “And what happens when a few months go by and there’s no baby? I’m assuming the pregnancy was a lie...unless...?” he questioned.

She snorted. Don’t make me laugh. “Yeah, no. I’m not having a baby with that dick. I’d rather choke on the broken neck of a beer bottle.”

“So what’s your plan exactly?”

“Miscarriage. Garner more sympathy,” she replied, curtly.

“Yeah that would work. Or, you could go the whole nine yards. People love babies. And I’m betting Finn doesn’t.”

She had to laugh at that. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure Finn would spontaneously combust if he actually had to change a diaper or wipe spit up off himself. It would be great.” 

She continued, “but like I said, I’d sooner impale myself on one of our white picket fence posts than spread my legs for him ever again. Plus, it seems unfair to subject a child to his gene pool.”

“I wasn’t suggesting you do that either,” Bellamy replied, a smoldering look on his face.

Well that’s hot.

“So...what exactly were you suggesting?” They were staring intensely into one another’s eyes now.

“Well...I could help you out, Princess. If you were open to that.” 

At the nickname, Clarke suddenly developed a glassy look in her eyes and began staring off into the distance a bit. “Princess?”

“Seems fitting,” he explained. Clarke was still staring off at an angle, but hanging on to his every word nonetheless. “Long, blonde hair. Rich. Gorgeous. Your house is practically a castle.” 

Clarke focused her eyes back onto his face. They were standing so close now that if she began breathing heavily he’d no doubt feel it. Huh. Freckles.

“So what does that make you in this scenario? My knight in shining armour?” He chuckled. 

“Come to rescue you from eternal boredom and mediocrity? I could be that,” he said with a smirk.

“You could be,” she replied breathlessly. “If you wanted.”

“No qualms about cheating your husband, princess?” Every time he called her that it sent a small thrill up her spine. She hadn’t experienced anything like that in what felt like eons.

“He never had any qualms about it,” she reminded him. “Never once mentioned to me in two years of dating or five years of marriage that he hadn’t broken up with his ex. Probably never mentioned me to her either. Though that’s in the toilet now, I suppose.” She giggled, but the truth was it still stung a little, his betrayal. Not that there are any warm, fuzzy feelings left, she thought. But I do wish he’d just drive his car into a lake or something and be done with all this. Is that really too much to ask?

“Oh right, what a dick,” he replied. The sudden look of disgust on his face was once again replaced by what could only be datedly described as bedroom eyes. “In that case, I’m officially offering my services. I’m sure it would be grueling work, fucking you day in and day out, but I’m willing to suffer in the name of prolonging Finn’s misery.”

His facetious tone made her laugh. “I’m sure that will be awful for you,” she agreed. She had just one question though. “Why exactly do you hate Finn so much?”

“Clearly you’ve never had to listen to him drone on at the monthly staff meetings,” he answered. She laughed again.

“Well, in that case, I accept your offer,” she responded, grabbing his tie and craning her neck upward to lock eyes with him. “I think you and I are going to have a little fun together,” she teased.

“Oh, princess. We’re going to have a lot of fun.”